Back to reality?

It's the start of a new term and whether you're a teacher or a parent the next few weeks are likely to be very different to the last few. So, how are you feeling about the start of a new school year?  Think about this carefully, how do you actually feel?  

Sometimes we forget to listen to our 'gut' feelings. We say we're dreading something when actually we're mildly uncomfortable about it; we say something was 'the most amazing experience of our lives' when in truth it was just 'good'. I love the richness and the broadness of our language so if you love to exaggerate, go for it!  What I would like you to consider is how much you pay attention to how you really feel.  Are you guilty of blowing things out of all proportion? I know I do that.  So as you contemplate the going 'back to reality' ask yourself, what are you exaggerating and is it helpful?  

I used to focus very much on the end of the holidays, building up a sense of dread around going back to 'normal'. Other people may be counting down the minutes until their little darlings go back to school.  Wherever you are on this spectrum I'd like to remind you that nothing is fixed and unchangeable. Term time can bring a fresh start, new people into your lives and a time to set yourself some new personal goals. The holidays can bring you freedom and more time with your family and friends. Both are good, and both are better for having the other.

You may have a few days left of summer holidays or you may be back to reality already. Either way, you're right here, right now so make the most of it! See the good in each and every day, even the 'normal' ones!

Wishing you a wonderful day!

 With love, Lisa xx
www.lisareadcoaching.com

NQTs make a great start to your career

If you're a newly qualified teacher about to start your first job, congratulations! You'll no doubt be raring to go and feeling a mixture of emotions from nervousness to elation.  Below are some ideas which may help you to confidently approach your new career, enjoy!

1) Be willing to be new and inexperienced

A mistake I made as an NQT coming into teaching as a mature student and a mum was to expect to be better than I was. I thought that my life experience, training, and time as a teaching assistant meant that I had to be 'perfect'.  With hindsight I wish I'd been more willing to ask those 'daft' questions and to admit that I was finding it tough. Teachers are busy people but they care, they will help you if you ask. No matter how capable you are, in a new role you have to get to know the ropes!

2) You can't get all your systems in place at once!

You may want to set up systems for handling behaviour, jobs in the classroom and many others things too. This takes time. Ask your class for ideas about how to make things work, they'll have some great suggestions, however old they are. It's ok to tell them that you've all got to get to know each other and that things are going to change over the year.

3) Put displays up gradually

You may want your classroom to be the most beautiful display of creativity ever, but allow yourself time to do it. Better to have less than perfect displays that can be changed quickly.  Too much all at once is overkill and becomes like wallpaper - just there and not really looked at. If you have TA support, ask for their help to do displays, it may be part of their role. 

4) Develop a good relationship with your TA

If you're lucky enough to have a TA they are an invaluable resource. As a teacher you are not 'superior' to them, you merely have a different job description. Teaching assistants are valuable and knowledgeable; they often spend a lot of time working very closely with the pupils and may have years of experience. Let them know how much you value them.

5) Resist the urge to laminate everything

In my mind one of the toughest parts of being a teacher is the always thinking ahead. I felt like I was never living in the 'now' and enjoying the moment because there was always so much else still to be done. If you can, resist the urge to get ahead of everything; yes of course you need to plan ahead but try to live in the now too! Avoid laminating everything you do, you may end up just throwing it away which is a waste of resources. You may move classrooms, year groups, school; you may just want to do it differently next year when you're more experienced. 

6) Find out in advance what the extra tasks are

Over the year you'll have parents evenings, reports to write, assessments to do, progress reviews, meetings with your mentor and management, and many other things to find time to do. If you also spend two hours planning each lesson you're heading for burnout.  There will be many things that will swallow your time so accept that a 'good enough' lesson really is good enough.

7) Trust your own judgement rather than gradings

To a teacher nothing is more upsetting than having spent hours planning for a lesson observation to be told that it was 'satisfactory'.  Personally, I detest lesson gradings and think they do nothing to support teachers who are working bloomin' hard to meet the needs of their class. You may well be graded during lesson observations so I'd recommend expecting to get satisfactory and then being delighted with anything above that. Satisfactory has become synonymous with 'not good enough'; however it really does mean that you satisfied the needs of the class and therefore could be retermed 'good enough'. 

Experience counts for a lot in teaching so give yourself time to be outstanding. In truth all teachers deliver a mixture of satisfactory and outstanding lessons (and everywhere in between ) and some lessons may be deemed unsatisfactory by Ofsted too, but the pupils aren't judging you. You know that you're working hard and doing your best, hold onto that and be proud of who you are!

8) Stay positive

Listen to your inner voice, are you being ultra-critical of yourself? Are you expecting to be perfect? The teaching profession can be full of perfectionists, but another word for this is 'neurotic'.  The best teachers are often the laid back ones who can relax about mistakes and go with the kids' interests. Tell yourself repeatedly, 'I am a fabulous teacher'  get your rest, look after yourself and have fun!  The children will appreciate you being positive and relaxed far more than they'll appreciate the lesson you spent till 1am preparing for them.

Last of all, remember that you are a role model. You will have many young minds looking up to you and noticing what you say and how you behave. The lasting impression you'll have on those children will be who you are, not what you taught them.  Be 'who you are'!

Need support in your NQT year? Make it a fantastic year by calling me on 07749 791707, visiting my website www.lisareadcoaching.com or emailing me at info@lisareadcoaching.com.  Here for you!

How much 'screen time' does your child get?

Modern houses are filled with screens; televisions, laptops, PCs, smart phones, DS games and so on. Whilst few of us would be without our mod-cons, and lets face it - they can help to keep the kids quiet - it seems a shame that so many young people today spend more time in front of a screen each day than they do interacting with their family and friends.   According to kidshealth.org the average teenager spends around 4-6 hours a day in front of a screen, which can affect their posture, physical fitness and social skills. But what do we do about it? The difficulty is manifold; firstly it is easy and relatively cheap, secondly the children love it and may feel like they were being punished if screen time was reduced. In addition, we parents are usually so busy with the many tasks we need to complete each day that we're too tired to want to do anything about it.

In our society it is unrealistic and unnecessary to want to eradicate screen time altogether, we don't need to beat ourselves up about what we could consider to be our inadequacies as parents. Instead, how about focusing on the goal of increasing quality family or parent/child time?

Below are my tips for realistically getting better quality time with your children:

1) Use the good side of television to your advantage
Personally, I love Horrible Histories and have learnt a lot about history from it. I often sit down with a cup of tea and watch it with my children. We've had some brilliant discussions about history as a result! There are many other interesting programmes that you could watch together.

2) Get fit together
If you want to get fitter how about involving your child? You could go on short jogs together or join a club which supports family membership such as orienteering or martial arts. Or even just go for a walk; children often talk about what's happening for them when they're side by side with you on a walk.

3) Arrange time to talk it over
Children need to know that you're a human being and you're doing your best but you don't necessarily have all the right answers. Explain your concerns about the amount of time they sit in front of a screen, pointing out some of the health implications. Ask your children for their opinion and advice about what to do. They'll come up with some fantastic ideas.

4) Be realistic about how much time you have
I need to learn this one! I tend to believe I can more done in a day than is physically possible for one person! When I'm caught up being 'busy' guess what my children are doing? Yep, watching a screen of some kind. Not always of course, but often. By being realistic about how long things actually take (think of a number and double it!)by giving ourselves strict time limits on getting jobs done, and by prioritising the tasks that need to be done we can buy ourselves more time to focus on what really is important - those young lives.

5) Lead by example
I can waste hours watching repeats on telly or playing games on my smartphone. Sometimes my children can be wanting to talk to me and I'll even tell them to come back later! I'm a fallible human being, just like you, and I make plenty of mistakes. By choosing to turn off the screen I can show my children that I know there's a time and a place for it. My goal is to be a conscious screen watcher - by this I mean to only watch things or play things because I consciously want to, not to 'kill time'. Fancy joining me? 

6) Sort your priorities
Many of us say that our children mean more to us than anything else, but do we really mean it? First and foremost we need to ensure that we're looking after ourselves and being great role-models by living the life we dream of. When we've worked out what is really important to us personally then we'll have so much more to give to our children. Our enthusiasm for life will naturally shine through and our children will be encouraged to aspire to achieve their dreams. Once they start dreaming big, the lure of the screen will be far less enticing!  So what are you dreaming of? Is your life how you wanted it to be? 

Take the time to focus on yourself today, write a list of what you'd love to achieve and do one thing to help get yourself there. If you need help on this, call me on 07749 791707 or look at my website (more screens!) on www.lisareadcoaching.com.

Whatever you do today, be happy!

With love, Lisa xx

Tough times for would-be University undergraduates

 The BBC website quotes that "A-level passes have risen for the 29th year in a row as teenagers face an intense battle for university places.Those who miss out on a place this year could face tuition fees of up to £9,000 a year."

Facing soaring debt many young people are scrambling to get to university this year before they risk having to pay even more next September. This is a tough time for all our aspiring future achievers. If you're someone who is facing this difficult time please hang on in there! Stay positive and remember although today is hard, life does get better. Focus on what you really want to achieve and you will get there, just keep focusing on it and taking those small steps towards it. If organisations or others are getting in your way, look for a different route. You can achieve what you want to!

With love, Lisa xx

A Level Results - have your dreams or nightmares come true?

Thousands of young people today will be finding out just how they did in the A levels, a big day. I remember clearly walking up to school to find out how I'd got on, my stomach churning with every step. This really is a life changing day for so many people; if it goes well you get to go the university of your choice and life is good. If you don't get the grades you needed, suddenly you're in turmoil and facing clearing or second choice places.

If you've taken A levels, congratulations! Even if you didn't get what you wanted you still put yourself out there and worked hard for two long years. You set yourself a goal (to pass) and you did all  you could to achieve it. If things didn't work out for you, now is the time to take stock, remind yourself that you're a great person, and to be kind to yourself. When you've come to terms with it you can ask yourself what went wrong and begin to see the positives in what has happened. Coping with failure and disappointment is a sure-fire way to ultimately being successful; as many an inventor, writer and business person has found out. Life doesn't end if you don't get the grades, it is merely a new beginning.

So today, be proud of who you are!  Celebrate all that you have achieved. You are wonderful!

If you're feeling stuck and want some coaching to help take you on the short cut to success, call me on 07749 791707 or visit my website www.lisareadcoaching.com.  Coaching really does make a difference.

With love, Lisa xx

Youth today - support not condemnation

In the last couple of weeks so much has been reported about the riots across the country.  The blame seems to be firmly placed in the hands of today's young people.  So what happened to make so many young people appear to be without morals or compassion? I believe young people need our support, not our condemnation. Evey time we look at teenagers and automatically assume that they're about to cause trouble, we're adding to the problem. 

There will be plenty of people out there that think that showing kindness and compassion is exactly the wrong thing to do. These youths, they'll argue, need a good strong kick up the xxx.  But as Gandhi said, "We must be the change we wish to see in the world."  These children have been taught, somehow or other, that our world is not worth caring about; by showing them hatred and harshness we're only going to make them more sure that they're right.

I wish I could say I had the solutions to the problem. All I know is, if every parent and teacher showed love and compassion and lived by their values the world would surely be a happier place. We are role models for the next generation, even if we aren't their parents or their teachers.  We are all in this together.  What can you do today, right now, to be the change you wish to see in the world?

If you're a parent and you want to invest in positivity and skills for life for your child, give me a call on 07749 791707 or look on my website www.lisareadcoaching.com.  We CAN make a difference!

With love, Lisa xx

Summer holidays are well underway - are you enjoying them?

As a former teacher I've always loved the summer holidays. To me they're a chance to catch up with myself, be with my three lovely children, sort out their clothes (too small, too stained, just right etc) and maybe even go on a holiday!  I love the freedom, the feeling of endless time, the sunshine, the long evenings. Summer holidays are fantastic!

Of course not everyone feels this way, to some parents the holidays are a logistical nightmare of trying to arrange childcare that doesn't cost too much. To others the expense, the boredom and the sibling rivalry that occurs can be a nightmare.

Whether you're a summer holiday lover or loather, the following ideas may help you to enjoy what's left of them!

1) Be mindful that they're coming to an end. This may sound miserable, but the best things are often over so quickly and if we're aware that they're going to end we make the most of them. Ask yourself, what would make these next few weeks fantastic?  Act on the answers!

2) Aim to do at least one thing for you every day. Your children will benefit more from having a happy parent than they will from having a frazzled one who is trying to do everything perfectly. Whatever it is that makes you happy, do it!

3) Every day doesn't have to be a 'wow'. Children often like going back to something they've previously enjoyed. They also like having the time to be at home, especially when they're busy at school and clubs most of the year. Indulging in a bit of lone play or reading will help develop your child's imagination and thinking skills.

4) Baking, sewing, knitting, gardening, or other simple homely activities undertaken with a patient adult can be a wonderful, memorable activity for any child. If this isn't for you, could a friend or relative have a bit of time with your child?

5) You'll never have a summer holiday with your child being this particular age again, what can you do to make it special for them? Could you keep a diary, ask them what they want to do, do something different? Of course if you enjoy the moment too, it'll be all the better for your child.

Before we know it the nights will start drawing in and we'll be longing for summer again. Lets make this year a good one!  Having said that, if it's all getting a bit too much why not give me a call for some parent coaching sessions? Parent coaching is about helping you to make the most of your life and your family. You're worth investing in! Call me on 07749 791707 or look at my website www.lisareadcoaching.com for information about my coaching packages.

With love, Lisa xx

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Teenagers - how confident are they really?

I love teenagers. They're full of opinions, are creating their own individuality, and at the same time they're yearning to just fit in with everyone else. If I'm honest I didn't really enjoy being a teenager myself. Looking back it seems that I spent most of the time angsting about whether what I was wearing or saying was 'right' and the remaining time angsting about the things I'd already worn and said. On top of all that peer-pressure, there are life-changing decisions to be made about future careers, future partners, money, exams, etc, etc. I wouldn't go back to that time at all, no thanks!

This is why I'm so keen to support teens as they go through one of the toughest, most insecure times of their lives. Teenage anxiety levels and lack of confidence is a serious concern. Although they may look more stylish and confident than ever before, I believe this is borne out of a deep sense of insecurity and a feeling of not being 'good enough' as they are.  Hoodies, so popular amongst the under 20s, are also a way of protecting themselves, hiding themselves away from the 'real world'. It's very easy to blame today's youth for all our societal problems, but surely we adults have collectively taught them how the world works?  When was the last time you smiled at a group of teens, instead of instantly jumping to the conclusion that they're probably out to mug you?

Parents of teenagers, if your son or daughter would benefit from the support of a non-judgemental and objective listener, who could help them to learn positive skills that will develop their confidence levels, why not call Lisa Read on 07749 791707 or visit www.lisareadcoaching.com.   This is one investment in their future that really will stay with them.

With love, Lisa xx

There's nothing like a blow to the head to help you see sense!

Morning! I have a bit of a headache today, only a mild one though. I came off a bike the other day (embarrasingly my 8 year old daughter's) and suffered a grazed elbow, knee and a fairly hard bang to the head. Yesterday I felt slightly sick and so tired I wanted to stop and  rest, but it was one of those judgement call times. I knew if I kept going I'd be ok, but at what point do we decide to just stop and look after ourselves? I decided to lie down and take it easy, something I almost never do, and while I lay there I felt a mixture of emotions from boredom to relaxation to restlessness, to wanting to go on my mobile phone to see what was happening 'out there' and then back to peaceful relaxation again. Whilst lying down I knew that at any moment I could choose to get up and get going again, but somewhere deep down I felt that staying still was the right thing to do.  

Now I believe in the Law of Attraction, so whilst lying there feeling wiped out  I  wondered why I'd attracted this blow to the head to me. I realised after a while that I'd been crying out for a break and by bringing a possible, if very mild, brain injury to myself it forced me to stop and take that break. In recognising this I also realised that an easier way would be to take regular breaks and relax more so that I don't have to do it the painful way!

So what am I going to do differently? I talk about meditation, now I'm actually going to do it. I'm going to schedule it in for ten minutes every day for the next week.  I'll let you know how I get on!

Your turn: if you'd had an accident this week what do you think it would be highlighting for you? What can you do differently now so that you don't have to create illness or accidents?

With love, Lisa xx

Welcome

Hello and welcome to my blog! I'm Lisa Read, a confidence coach who specialises in working with young people and their parents. My goal is to help the next generation to feel good about themselves and to want to be caring, community minded citizens. As a parent myself I know how challenging it can be to raise children,  I've definitely made my share of mistakes! What I do know though is that our children are so very important. They really are the future and we need to be doing all we can to help them to be truly happy, confident people.