When I woke up this morning I knew I had a lot of work to do. I keep a notepad by the side of my bed so I can write down whatever's on my mind as I wake; this morning the list was long! Later, as I marched my children to school with a sense of urgency I thought about how I was going to tackle the day to get the most work done.
Now, I'm lucky enough to live in beautiful Sheffield, and the walk of just over a mile to school involves some fairly steep hills with fantastic views of the Peak District. Today, as I bounded up the hill with my daughters straggling behind, I felt an urge to stop and look at the view. I stood for no more that thirty seconds admiring the hills and how the sky looked so bright and clear; but that was long enough for me to realise that I wanted to be out there, walking among the sheep and enjoying the sunshine.
No sooner had the thought of actually going out to the Peaks occurred to me, other voices piped up. "You've got too much to do, you'll be wasting your time, it's only a form of procrastination!" Within seconds of having that inner knowing of where I wanted to be, I'd talked myself out of it. I was going to do the sensible thing, get my head down and get on with my work.
A few minutes later and we'd arrived at school, daughters were duly kissed and waved off and I was on my way home. At this point in my walk I again imagined myself sat on a rock enjoying the hills and the view. The doubts were still there, but this time I knew I was going. Nothing was going to stop me.
As I drove out to the Peaks, the doubts crept in again. Was I just procrastinating? Was I just giving in to a whim? Was I doing the right thing when I had so much to do? While thinking these thoughts I missed a turn and had to go the long way round, a sign I decided, that I'd made a mistake. Then it started to rain.
Later than I'd expected, I arrived at Burbage, a beautiful hill covered in enormous rocks for climbing on or scrambling under. I made my way to the top, and as soon as I got there I felt peaceful. I sat on a rock, overlooking a forest, hills and a once-again clear sky. I watched and breathed and was grateful.
A few minutes later my inner voice told me it was time to go, and it pointed me in a different direction. Curious as to where it would take me, I followed my instincts. To my delight, I saw a polecat shoot past me. It hid behind a rock and then peeped out, staring straight at me, wondering what I would do. I stood stock still and watched the polecat watching me. After a couple of minutes it realised I posed no threat, and disappeared off. It was a great experience, I've never seen one before.
The way back seemed to be harder than the way there; there were so many big rocks I needed to climb up and at times the way seemed to be completely blocked. I wanted to turn back, but my inner voice calmly told me, 'Keep going, find a way. There is always a way' as I made my way back up to the top I saw the wisdom in the words and I realised without doubt that I'd definitely done the right thing.
I'm back home now and of course I'm on my computer. I wanted to share this with you because, well because my inner voice is guiding me to. I don't always listen to my inner voice, but when I take the trouble to, cast aside my doubts and negativity, I'm always glad I did.
With love, Lisa xx
No comments:
Post a Comment